Of temporary reclusiveness and disgust

I recently bought the comic miniseries "Wanted"...(yes real men read comic books ...u turds )....The top picture is the movie which is gonna release soon with angelina jolie and below is the cover of the comic its based on....


Its about this guy getting fucked over by life ....his gf is sleeping with his best friend quite blatantly....eating the same salmon sandwich every day wishing everyday was different.... then suddenly he is told my this hot chick that he is the son of th greatest assassin in the seven dimensions the universe is made of and he is gonna inherit 50 million dollars if he takes his position....So begins his transformation from a regular guy stuck in a cubicle to one of the greatest assassins ever....he is so good he can make bullets bend (actually if a horizontal component is added to a bullet velocity with a proper groove bullets can acutally bend ) and shoot wings off flies... anyway the trailer for the movie is this with angelina jolie looking really really good...



Anyway Im in one of those reclusive moods where I tend to avoid boring human company (i do enjoy conversations with intelligent people) and im less pliant in sitting amongst people who piss the fuck out of me........these includes people doin small talk about their jobs...("oh hi so ur position gives u control over companies looking at natural resources"..."this would really look good on her resume when she applies for an MBA" I mean look how boring this is ...this is not a fucking job fair...get a life).

I am really happy without having a gf. Its horrible to stuck in a relationship when the gf will only put out once a month like she is in a 60s. But the real horrible deal which comes with ur gf is her "FRIENDS". Who in the fuck likes their gf's friends......they are composed of girls who will keep telling her she can get better than u (perhaps an investment banker who will pay her by the hr) and some guys who are waiting for the opportunity to hump her as soon as she grants access to her naughty parts.

Yesterday at french class I had to spend half an hour listening to a girl telling us about her experience as a volunteer in a fucking elephant farm in french. I mean I can understand people going out helping other people but a fucking elephant farm, what do you do? clean the football sized crap? Girls in the french class are either there to get a french guy or they want to pleases their french bf's grandparents (Im sure its not easy to fool a pair of french peasents from burgundy in their 60s) so they can live in France happily ever after eating smelly cheese and obsessing about if their country is gonna slide into recession because their president is singing "L'amour" with his wife. Even worse is them calling their bfs in the middle of the class to alk in french....urrrghhhh.......our teacher although 27 yr old acts like a big fucking tinker bell with her behavious like a 12 yr old...actually i dont dislike her that much....

I think I have lost the mean edge I had and gone all soft. I need to get back into the meanness restoration program which includes:

1. DONT GIVE A FUCK: part one of the program...try not giving a fuck of anything around you...be it some girl whining or ur boss taking it out on u cos his wife has stopped having sex with him......just dont give a fuck....give a blank stare with a half smile and keep staring till they get bored....
2. MASSIVE WEIGHT TRAINING: Ull be mean when u look mean...try lifting weights atleast 4 days a week ...serious weight lifting...not like those hairy middle aged men who go to the gym to embarress themselves and hog the equipment..have a proper program
3. BE AS UNCOMPROMISING AS POSSIBLE: Hey pleasing anyone dosent help...they will know ur easy and will take advantage of you...just do what u want, say what u want...u dont have to please anyone ...if they like u as u are they will come to you....if u say the food is crap say it....if u think the ur gf is not good enuff tell her to get lost ... if u think what the other guy is saying is stupid tell him to shut up...
4. FORGET WHAT THE WORLD IS SAYING: The world is always trying to delude us with wrong signals and making us believe that we are born ordinary and the greatest thing we can achieve is a good job, a happy family blah blah..aka "The Believer's Utopia"..Hey and 99% of us are hooked by this stereotypical dream this system has created as a method to achieve stability....The lower the energy of the system, the more stable it is...oppressing the dreams of the people is how the system keeps them in lower energy states and achieves stability...its does not mind one of two loose canons breaking all these barriers and just getting what they dreamed of....werent you like that when u were 5 ..when u really had dreams and thought they will come true...but the constant mis direction of the world had made u realize it was ur "childhood fantasy" Maybe the half hearted life ur living now is the fantasy and what ur "non stunted flexible" brain was thinking then was true...jus go ahead and get what you want....

How not being satisfied with your life might just work for you

Since I was a kid, I have been a big complainer. I am bit fussy over everything and am very hard to satisfy(non sexual reference). But I maybe one of the few people I know who believe sincerely that if you are not satisfied with what you have it will drive you and motivate you to want more and more.

Being happy is the worst thing that can happen to you. Can you imagine those mornings when you were truly happy, you don't care about anything. You take in your breakfast slowly,read the newspaper and slowly go to work. Chances are you will be fired within few months if you enjoy your life so much. Also remember the time you had a girlfriend and you were really happy. You did not care if you lost your job or lost your friends all because u were really satisfied. In every direction you looked , you only saw her face. That illusion did not last for long and when you hit the ground really hard , you realized you had even lost the quality of motivation.

I believe being hungry, dissatisfied and having your back against the wall would be the best thing that can happen to you, because if will uncover the sheer willpower you have to break free from the rut. Many people instead of trying to break free from the prison of misery they are in permanently try for a temporary solution with tiny things which might cause them temporary pleasures. Also this illusion does not last forever and you end up at the place you started from, this time even more de motivated because you have the illusion of trying different things(tiny pleasure solution) and failing to achieve the happily ever after.

In conclusion, the best thing is to look facts straight in the face, and see how miserable your life is and how you want to change it. This is the only way which can get you out of the job, relationship or any other situation which you hate so much.

Post Traumatic Exam Stress Disorder

Exams are stressful. No I don't mean that get up at 5 o clock drink 10 espresso and laborious preparation, but I also mean the psychological impact which comes along with it. Some exams come with tons at stake along with it and thinking that you have done badly means it can be career changing for you. My quantum information exam did not go as well as planned in spite of putting atleast 7 or 8, 12 hr days behind it which is horribly disappointing. To understand the monstrosity of the exam , part of one question required us to find the eigenvalues of 4 X 4 matrix on spot (people who know what eigenvalues are would know how terrible and impossible this is.) My other exam which is "Nano structure" went really well and I think I got everything right. Exams over and really emotionally battered I have to continue my Atom chip experiment.

Going back to a previous blog of mine, I had made a fleeting reference to a young girl in my French class who I enjoy a conversation with. The young girl who is actually got a name, Julie , was offended on reading my blog about calling her a young girl because apparently calling someone young means calling them stupid. Anyway I am grateful to Julie to make my post exam time very delightful providing an intelligent conversation and movie partner. I have gone with her for "Iron man" which turned out to be superb and then for frozen margaritas afterwards. I happened to go for "Other Boyeln girl" with her today only to run out of the theater with her because the movie was terribly suffocating. She seems to have this terrible impression that Im a mean man and she gets quite a kick from that. Anyway hoping to see more of her in the future before she leaves for cambridge.

Max the Effing genius

My respect for Max, the italian post doc in my lab has increased 10 fold after a lunch time discussion with him. No it did not concern physics, but women and periods.. yes u read it write women and periods(time of the month kinda thing).
Ever since Max has bought the nokia N85 he hasnt been wasting it like most stupid people i know to listen to music and movies... he has been downloading free gps softwares and other productivity tools... there is something he downloaded which deserves real respect...
Its called the period tracker...btw Max is in his late 30s.......u enter the time of the month for a girl/woman and it keeps track of her period and her ovulation time....now how why does he need to use it:

1) Situation one: Some girl could not have sex with him a particular time due to her time of the mnth gets noted down by him and its stored in his phone.....btw u can track periods of upto N number of girls...

Once he had the info..the software tells him when she is ovulating aka...when she will put out....for me ovulating girls dosent guarantee sex but for a italian in his 30s in singapore it does......
so using his ovulation calendar he texts the girls accordingly...and 9/10 times he gets a positive response(what follows is 3 hrs in a budget hotel......nvm)
if the girl dosent reposnd during the ovulation period...he discards her and moves to another one...

2)Situation 2: He is also married. He uses it to track the PMS demon of his wife... so apparently like 5 days before the main event ...he is extra nice and goes home in time....

Using this application he is in perfect control of all the women in his life....now how great is that...

Maximally Entangled Life

Its 12:18 on a Saturday night and I jus opened my laptop to find the series expansion of ln(x). There is this problem im trying to solve about mutual information in a quantum key distribution problem under a evesdropping scenario where Eve(evesdropper) is trying to create false states similar to the singlet state and trying to put a label on it. I have to prove that the mutual information between Alice and Bob is way larger than the mutual information between Eve and any one of the participents. So basically as I increase N or the number of states Eve creates ..mutual information between eve and any of them tends to zero ...so she is left out of the loop...

anyway I wrote up this whole mumbo jumbo graduate level quantum information stuff cos I have been reading that this entire day and I find the Ekert 91 protocol for QKD very very interesting and how they use violations of Bell's inequality to prove that the quantum channel is secure.

Anyway i have become so involved with the physics shit that I cant stop talking about it. Anyway its just that I have a test on monday on it and I have to study for it and im lucky that i find it interesting.

Life is all fine. Sb started abusing me yesterday suddenly on the realization that one find day in 2006 she made a mistake of leaving her ex bf(whom I dont really admire) and start "goin out" with me. If a girl leaves a dude and goes out with me and then she regrets it, its not really my fault and abusing me wont help her anyway. Just some insecure girl screaming dosent bother me at all.

I managed to have 2 pints of erdinger again on friday night. Im simply falling in love with this delicious beer which is such a delight to drink.I can have atleast 4 pints of it I think in one setting.

My french class was terrible today starting with a test which I was totally unprepared for. I am now officially the buffoon and the slacker of the class and I feel im back to my high school status. Some 18 yr old girl who sits to me who will be goin off to cambridge soon makes an interesting conversation partner in the class. I donno whats happening with me and young girls nowdays. Although I know thats how nature has meant us to be,I feel guilty for no reason when I enjoy a conversation with a girl that young.

Thanks to my impossibly overloaded schedule, I hardly get to see human beings. Im either working in the lab or at home and the only meals I get are sandwiches from the cafe in our canteen which I et while working. So occasionally when i do go out somewhere or even when I decide to have my lunch at the canteen, I m suddenly struck with the realization that "some girls are really beautiful". This realization hits me like a ton of bricks because after this constant lab/home schedule I often forget about the existence of beautiful girls.

I should really give up on Nikki and start dating someone else. All they do is complain about life and be depressed and I have to get out of this visicious cycle. Although all she does is talk abotu how her life is shit, Nikki has the amazing opinion that I am inconsistent with my "feelings" for her. Anyway I have to find a fresh girl with a zest for life and date her. This time im looking for a singer cos I appreciate music so much and I would like someone who can sing and play the guitar with me. As usual she must be pretty and witty and I dont mind if it was Carla Bruni.

How many physicists does it take to move a table....

Answer is four, today it took four of us to move our optical table which weighs a ton

People think physicists do nothing,....occasionally i have some girl in my french class asking me questions like "do you guys ever make anything that works...??" anyway ignoring the ignorant shit the french learning, caucasian bf seeking pretentious gucci sunglass wearing girls who know nothing about physics except it was a subject they flunked at high school , I would like the world to know that we experimentalists do real work......like moving heavy shit..making circuits and lasers to work and stuff like that.....

Anyway i dont expect much out this world where some dude called "soulja boy" is topping charts in the us and people are making salsa songs about barack obama. As some black comedian on the Jay leno show said "black people are not the solution to all of america's problems".

As I wrote in my last post about people complaining alot.........and people obsessing about somethig not that important. Like this whole fad about Barrack obama, I know its cool having a minority winning the election in US but common we dont know anything about this guy and he can come into power and fuck the world just as Bush did.....I think we shouldnt celebrate that obama is winning but jus that bush will no longer be president.....

There are these tons of lame ass couples around me who do stupid shit to keep the love alive........some girl gave her bf a $400 buck watch.....I mean common if u wanna keep the love alive and ur bf is not 50 cents or P.Diddy do u think investing in bling will result in happily ever after............

People who like clean looking girls and soft nice music should listen to Colby Caillat (atleast thats wat the spelling ) and her song bubly....its really really nice.....and also Sara something with her song "love song".....

Anyway Ill probably write more in the deadly boring Seminar lecture time.....people who think beer is bitter should realy try Erdinger ....u can easily drink two pints of it and not find it bitter at all....

Relative Misery

Its 11:54 at night when im writing this blog. Its been a long day starting at 8 in the morning and it was only at 11 when i finally returned home. Now im perched in front of my tv in a towel writing this blog.

People all around me are complaining how miserable their lives are. The guy from my lab just recently got kicked out of the lab for being not all there in the head kept on complaining how everyone was unfair to her and he actually needed more time and training. I would totally admit what was done to him was unfair but this is the thing thats wat I went thru and I survived being one step ahead of my supervisor's demands.

This girl I was interested in called niki always complains to me how her life is miserable and how her MCP boss makes her life hell. How her last 3 bfs cheated on her and how she is always stressed from doin too many things at the same time. Before people start complaining they should take time to analyze their lives first. I mean if u are 3rice deceived by 3 different guys , u have to realize u have been shopping in the "Cheaters and Sleazebag" aisle all this while. Also what she does not focus on is that she meets a million people everyday and has no time to analyze her life and that she is perpetually headed catastrophically on the roller coaster of devastation.

Girls who have had one or two bad flings with so called "love" where a guy promised her blah blah and then didnt deliver the package they promised learn to effectively portray themselves as the poor hapless victim. I mean poor Jews in Nazi concentration camps were victims. These girls jus chose some random guys cos they were "lonely" went for dinners, received gifts, made out with them. This is not exactly being a victim. I know tons of guys done over by girls, taken advantage blah blah but none of them open their file of "my miserable victimhood". Women should really close this file otherwise they will repel the next sane guy who will come.

Misery is so perfectly relative to the situation we are in. When i was in high school eating cream cracker biscuits for lunch and traveling on a shitty school bus while the temperature was at 42 C these things didnt matter to me. On top of that we were made to wear ties to school everyday even in the worst of summer and if any french cook needed to demonstrate what "sauteed" really looked like they should have shown us.

So all these people with problems like "why didnt he love me?? " and "why were they unfair to me" jus need a bohooo cos this aint problem at all. People in africa have real problems, all these people have are a lil tiny bump on their bed of roses.

Strange(r) Attraction

I think I am falling in love with a complete stranger. It may not be love, but I am strangely attracted to her in a strongly non platonic way. I see her almost everyday now on the bus and she is only there for five minutes before she gets down at her bus stop. But these for this five minutes, all I can do is admire her and fall in love with her.
I take the bus 198 from jurong east everyday morning to school. She is always there on the 9:25 bus when I get in. She is probably indian, but Im clueless from which part she is from. She is petite,beautiful and seems sharp as a whip. The amount of confidence in her movements I notice in the five minute time window I get impresses me. Maybe my attraction towards her are purely superficial and lustful but it has not happened to me in a while. She gets down two stops after I get up and goes to work. One of these days I hope to strike a conversation with her.

An Ordinary Week

Dragan Effect: My take on it

First picture is the original ...next one after trying my own take on the effect using photoshop...its pretty close and Ill post the tutorial later

The effect is named after this polish photographer at warshaw who also happen to be a quantum physicist

Funnny Scene from Eurotrip:This scene cracks me up always

This scene with the gay italian guy on the train and the tunnels and the song "hot stuff" in the background are tooo good put together...

Favorite Girl at this moment:Katherine Heigl

I simply love her. Most of you must know her from greys anatomy and the movie knocked up. She looks smart and is sooo damn pretty...she does remind me a bit of lisa kudrow with the blond hair.

Mystery:Nothing Describes my past relationships like this song

More Geek Comics:Survival,Survival (the real story),Pushover and Relationships

Boring Boring Graduate Seminar Module

The only reason im writing this blog right now is cos we have this compulsary sucky sucky module called graduate seminar module where we are having something as retarded as library training right now.
After being thru 4 yrs of undergraduate studies which involved extensive library use,paying fines, looking thru articles I really donno why have to go thru all this.
If not for the 1.5 shots of expresso I had in me(1.5 because i threw away half of the last shot cos we ahve expresso machine and coffee is free for us).

Whats been happening to me lets see:

*I have this boring module which i hate hate hate...i feel like someone is deliberately trying to destroy my brain activity capacity...other one is nanoscience which is like goin thru a silent movie in half speed

*im learning french ..well goin well...nice teacher....very pretty teacher(looks like elisha watever in some angles) but i feel like in nursery school saying the alphabets and numbers aloud....there are 2 pretty girls in my class and i already ahve my number(no big credit cos we were supposedd to give each other those)

Favorite Videos:Stuff I knew and Discovered on Youtube

Someday:MLTR I sang this song so many times

Bubbly:This song is so clean and innocent I love it

Searching for tango I got this spanish song...I actually love it

Pop goes my heart:Cos i love the song

Searching for ave maria gave me this...I like this quite a lot

Love this one too:Aux champs elysees

La Mer :Another french song I love

Amerika by Rammstein:very powerful

Random Pics More

More Random Pics

Random Pics from my Blackberry

Major Spoiler: Cloverfield Monster Revealed:Yes I saw the movie and drew it

Yesss, I saw the moster before the rest of the world because the movie released in Singapore atleast 1.5 days before in the us and the rest of the world.

On top is the picture i drew of the moster(I wish i could have taken a shot in the theatre but i would have been arrested)

The top most picture is pretty accurate description of the monster,they never reveal where it came from or wat happened to it. Its like huge,huge dinosaur(see the small tank and people for comparision) and has this weird front leg,

The face of the moster is like a snake, with 2 inflatable bags of membrane which inflate when its breathing, I could not draw a proper pic because the face is shown only for a moment.

There are also these spider like creatures which fall from tis body which resembles the spiders from star ship troopers.

Movie is intense and lot of people die but it is also too short and inconclusive but its really fun to watch it.