Monday, April 28, 2008

Max the Effing genius

My respect for Max, the italian post doc in my lab has increased 10 fold after a lunch time discussion with him. No it did not concern physics, but women and periods.. yes u read it write women and periods(time of the month kinda thing).
Ever since Max has bought the nokia N85 he hasnt been wasting it like most stupid people i know to listen to music and movies... he has been downloading free gps softwares and other productivity tools... there is something he downloaded which deserves real respect...
Its called the period tracker...btw Max is in his late 30s.......u enter the time of the month for a girl/woman and it keeps track of her period and her ovulation time....now how why does he need to use it:

1) Situation one: Some girl could not have sex with him a particular time due to her time of the mnth gets noted down by him and its stored in his phone.....btw u can track periods of upto N number of girls...

Once he had the info..the software tells him when she is ovulating aka...when she will put out....for me ovulating girls dosent guarantee sex but for a italian in his 30s in singapore it does......
so using his ovulation calendar he texts the girls accordingly...and 9/10 times he gets a positive response(what follows is 3 hrs in a budget hotel......nvm)
if the girl dosent reposnd during the ovulation period...he discards her and moves to another one...

2)Situation 2: He is also married. He uses it to track the PMS demon of his wife... so apparently like 5 days before the main event ...he is extra nice and goes home in time....

Using this application he is in perfect control of all the women in his life....now how great is that...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Maximally Entangled Life

Its 12:18 on a Saturday night and I jus opened my laptop to find the series expansion of ln(x). There is this problem im trying to solve about mutual information in a quantum key distribution problem under a evesdropping scenario where Eve(evesdropper) is trying to create false states similar to the singlet state and trying to put a label on it. I have to prove that the mutual information between Alice and Bob is way larger than the mutual information between Eve and any one of the participents. So basically as I increase N or the number of states Eve creates ..mutual information between eve and any of them tends to zero ...so she is left out of the loop...

anyway I wrote up this whole mumbo jumbo graduate level quantum information stuff cos I have been reading that this entire day and I find the Ekert 91 protocol for QKD very very interesting and how they use violations of Bell's inequality to prove that the quantum channel is secure.

Anyway i have become so involved with the physics shit that I cant stop talking about it. Anyway its just that I have a test on monday on it and I have to study for it and im lucky that i find it interesting.

Life is all fine. Sb started abusing me yesterday suddenly on the realization that one find day in 2006 she made a mistake of leaving her ex bf(whom I dont really admire) and start "goin out" with me. If a girl leaves a dude and goes out with me and then she regrets it, its not really my fault and abusing me wont help her anyway. Just some insecure girl screaming dosent bother me at all.

I managed to have 2 pints of erdinger again on friday night. Im simply falling in love with this delicious beer which is such a delight to drink.I can have atleast 4 pints of it I think in one setting.

My french class was terrible today starting with a test which I was totally unprepared for. I am now officially the buffoon and the slacker of the class and I feel im back to my high school status. Some 18 yr old girl who sits to me who will be goin off to cambridge soon makes an interesting conversation partner in the class. I donno whats happening with me and young girls nowdays. Although I know thats how nature has meant us to be,I feel guilty for no reason when I enjoy a conversation with a girl that young.

Thanks to my impossibly overloaded schedule, I hardly get to see human beings. Im either working in the lab or at home and the only meals I get are sandwiches from the cafe in our canteen which I et while working. So occasionally when i do go out somewhere or even when I decide to have my lunch at the canteen, I m suddenly struck with the realization that "some girls are really beautiful". This realization hits me like a ton of bricks because after this constant lab/home schedule I often forget about the existence of beautiful girls.

I should really give up on Nikki and start dating someone else. All they do is complain about life and be depressed and I have to get out of this visicious cycle. Although all she does is talk abotu how her life is shit, Nikki has the amazing opinion that I am inconsistent with my "feelings" for her. Anyway I have to find a fresh girl with a zest for life and date her. This time im looking for a singer cos I appreciate music so much and I would like someone who can sing and play the guitar with me. As usual she must be pretty and witty and I dont mind if it was Carla Bruni.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

How many physicists does it take to move a table....

Answer is four, today it took four of us to move our optical table which weighs a ton

People think physicists do nothing,....occasionally i have some girl in my french class asking me questions like "do you guys ever make anything that works...??" anyway ignoring the ignorant shit the french learning, caucasian bf seeking pretentious gucci sunglass wearing girls who know nothing about physics except it was a subject they flunked at high school , I would like the world to know that we experimentalists do real work......like moving heavy shit..making circuits and lasers to work and stuff like that.....

Anyway i dont expect much out this world where some dude called "soulja boy" is topping charts in the us and people are making salsa songs about barack obama. As some black comedian on the Jay leno show said "black people are not the solution to all of america's problems".

As I wrote in my last post about people complaining alot.........and people obsessing about somethig not that important. Like this whole fad about Barrack obama, I know its cool having a minority winning the election in US but common we dont know anything about this guy and he can come into power and fuck the world just as Bush did.....I think we shouldnt celebrate that obama is winning but jus that bush will no longer be president.....

There are these tons of lame ass couples around me who do stupid shit to keep the love alive........some girl gave her bf a $400 buck watch.....I mean common if u wanna keep the love alive and ur bf is not 50 cents or P.Diddy do u think investing in bling will result in happily ever after............

People who like clean looking girls and soft nice music should listen to Colby Caillat (atleast thats wat the spelling ) and her song bubly....its really really nice.....and also Sara something with her song "love song".....

Anyway Ill probably write more in the deadly boring Seminar lecture time.....people who think beer is bitter should realy try Erdinger ....u can easily drink two pints of it and not find it bitter at all....

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Relative Misery

Its 11:54 at night when im writing this blog. Its been a long day starting at 8 in the morning and it was only at 11 when i finally returned home. Now im perched in front of my tv in a towel writing this blog.

People all around me are complaining how miserable their lives are. The guy from my lab just recently got kicked out of the lab for being not all there in the head kept on complaining how everyone was unfair to her and he actually needed more time and training. I would totally admit what was done to him was unfair but this is the thing thats wat I went thru and I survived being one step ahead of my supervisor's demands.

This girl I was interested in called niki always complains to me how her life is miserable and how her MCP boss makes her life hell. How her last 3 bfs cheated on her and how she is always stressed from doin too many things at the same time. Before people start complaining they should take time to analyze their lives first. I mean if u are 3rice deceived by 3 different guys , u have to realize u have been shopping in the "Cheaters and Sleazebag" aisle all this while. Also what she does not focus on is that she meets a million people everyday and has no time to analyze her life and that she is perpetually headed catastrophically on the roller coaster of devastation.

Girls who have had one or two bad flings with so called "love" where a guy promised her blah blah and then didnt deliver the package they promised learn to effectively portray themselves as the poor hapless victim. I mean poor Jews in Nazi concentration camps were victims. These girls jus chose some random guys cos they were "lonely" went for dinners, received gifts, made out with them. This is not exactly being a victim. I know tons of guys done over by girls, taken advantage blah blah but none of them open their file of "my miserable victimhood". Women should really close this file otherwise they will repel the next sane guy who will come.

Misery is so perfectly relative to the situation we are in. When i was in high school eating cream cracker biscuits for lunch and traveling on a shitty school bus while the temperature was at 42 C these things didnt matter to me. On top of that we were made to wear ties to school everyday even in the worst of summer and if any french cook needed to demonstrate what "sauteed" really looked like they should have shown us.

So all these people with problems like "why didnt he love me?? " and "why were they unfair to me" jus need a bohooo cos this aint problem at all. People in africa have real problems, all these people have are a lil tiny bump on their bed of roses.